The FAN DANCER
“Are you Sir, an old Sailor man gazing out to sea”?
I was young Sir, a sailor man, what do you want of me?
“Is it true that in the old days you did sail Easterly”?
Indeed I did let’s find a seat then listen close to me
“I’ve heard that in the Orient things aren’t quite the same”
To answer you I need
a drink - a large one is my aim
“Are you going to tell me now, of the ladies of Japan”?
Aye, this whisky’s good so thanks, and cheers to you,
There’s strange things done in the rising sun and one of them`s no lie,
The ladies bits flow east and west the same way as their
I do know that but Ill tell you flat of the time I was taken in,
In a port called Yokohama in a place of red light sin,
There I met a maiden she wore a green kimono,
She was a thing of beauty her name was Sidjeko,
I ardently pursued her - and watched her sexy dance,
As she twirled around with feathered fans I prayed I had a chance.
My mates all agreed with me and did not cast a slur,
Such grace and charm she had, as I fell in love
I had found my lass divine my brain was in a whirl,
My Oriental dancer, my shapely, perfect girl,
Healthy, witching, wise with loveliness serene,
Proud I was to win this prize, half angel and half queen,
I`d seen the world and many girls though not yet twenty four,
My future clear I could settle near this lady I adore.
I could see she fell for me, was not the least bit haughty,
So jumped with glee and took her home my
thoughts a little naughty,
She performed for me quite privately she really turned me on,
What happened next defies belief with total cover gone,
She danced and teased until the end then jettisoned her fan,
me down - I never guessed - the lady was a man,
I could not believe it, my mind was in a fog,
So I upped and ran - just scarpered, like a robber’s dog.
Later in the bar, my mind in slow reflection,
I asked about my dancer - the one I popped the question,
By night I found she pranced around near naked as Godiva,
By day he ran the local tram - I’m told he was the driver,
There’s strange things done in the rising sun but lad you must remember,
If you fall
for an Oriental be sure to check the gender,
An` it`s wise to leave the lights on, when in your sexual prime,
Or you may have a shock by a man in a frock and waste your drinking time.